Ups and Downs

Do my blog posts seem a bit erratic? They seem to match my constantly changing mood of late. One day I am moving forward and living life (rather slowly and not so competently, but living nonetheless) and the next day I am flooded with emotions. Yesterday and today seem to be days where I am caught up in thoughts of my mom. I dream about her and I think of the many memories I have of her.

I'm not too sure why people come to read/look at my blog. Are they looking for new pictures and updates or, like me, are they searching for memories to make the here and now make more sense? Whatever the reason, I attempt to mesh those two worlds together. So, if some days I appear to be moving forward---I may actually be doing that. But other posts might be about my deep loss and grief. Hard to explain how to live within these worlds---the every day life and the grief stricken life, but I guess I am just trying to keep it all real and figure it out for me.

A couple of photos of my mom---one with me in 1997 and another with my dad on the day that I married John: