So here is that entry from August of 2005:
Kindergarten is looming in my future. Oh, I mean in Lily’s future, of course. I am feeling melancholy about what comes next for my little five year-old. Will she be the best and the brightest? Will she be outgoing and social? Will she be creative and interesting? Or will she become the class clown and make them all laugh?
We are embarking on quite a journey. A journey that at one time seemed so far off in the distance that I surely would need a clever pair of binoculars to see what lies ahead. But, here we are on this course that will determine and mold so many aspects of my little girl’s future.
I can’t believe that it was only five years ago that this bundle of love was perched atop of me in the hospital room. I vividly remember the bubbles she blew while I touched her soft cheek. My only thoughts then were of what I would do with her in the next five minutes and not the next five years. Lily was the kind of baby parents would wish for. She slept well, ate well, and discharged waste well. Her path as a baby was sprinkled with sunshine and littered with happiness. She was a delight.
When Lily turned two, her personality emerged with beautiful smiles, friendly giggles, and serious thoughts. She was happy and strong-willed. I like that combination in a person. I found her battling me in issues that dealt with control at every turn. Our first control situation was potty training. As a new mom, I decided that 2 was a fantastic age to begin training a little one to use the facilities. Little did I know that Lily thought 2 was an absurd time to begin this undertaking. I found out quickly that this road ahead of me would not always be sprinkled with sunshine and littered with happiness. I dropped the idea of potty training and allowed it to reemerge when Lily was ready…2 ½! When she was READY, she handled it like a pro and ended up training me as she won our first battle.
We aren’t done learning from one another and the time and energy I have put into creating this little five year-old is not over. We are ready for the journey that will take us down the halls of an old school building filled with love and character. I will release this little gem on Thursday into a world of unknowns for both of us. I am sure I will shed tears as she gathers up her backpack and lunch box and leaves me behind. But, I will do so knowing that this journey has started with the best map of life I could give her. And, I hope she will use that map to always find her way back to her mommy’s heart.