Faking It?

My blog may appear to be moving forward with life these days, but I must admit I am simply trying to fake it. Each and every day I continue to miss my mother. I think of so many things I want to talk to her about. So many areas of my life where I want and need her advice. And so many times my heart just aches to be near her. 

So, I thought I would simply make a rambling list of things I would talk to her about, ask her, or just say.

• Shelly is doing better at school. What did you do to make things better for me when I was little and would cry at school?
• I was in Old Navy the other day and found the cutest plaid dress. I think I might wear it at Thanksgiving.
• It is strange to be back in a classroom and substituting. What was it like when you were subbing in Alaska?
• Can you believe we were in a car accident with a deer?
• I struggle to want to socialize with others. I try to for the girls' sake, but it is very difficult for me to act happy when I am just really missing you, mom.
• Lily got her hair cut today. I think it looks cute and she will be happy with it.
• What do you think of the new season of Grey's Anatomy? Not so sure I am liking it.
• I am so thankful for our family, for John's family, and for the people who know us so well.
• I am so sad about the death of Lily's friend's aunt. It has been a tough year.
• I wish I could hold your hand. If I close my eyes, I can feel your super soft skin and see your pretty nails. I miss feeling your hands.
• Did you know the Christmas stuff is out in the stores at Target?

Mom and Lin at my high school graduation in 1984:

Just some of the things I am constantly thinking about. The things that make me stop in my tracks in disbelief.  The things that make me cry when I am in my car alone. I just miss her so much.