Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I have lots of dreams about my mom. They come in waves. I will have some several days in a row and then none for a month or so. The recurring theme of the dreams seems to be me asking my mom where she has been and then I tell her that we thought she died. She says very little in my dreams and frequently looks like she did at various times in my life (in the 70s, 80s, etc.). During the dreams I am preoccupied with the many things we have done since her death. I am sure that I am looking for a form of validation that she is okay with all that we have chosen to do. The dreams can envelope me with a strong feeling of love and warmth, but then I can begin to feel this uneasy feeling...a reminder that she has died and she isn't coming back. So, I ponder each night before I go to bed the idea of dreaming about my mother. I am never quite sure if I want the dreams to continue and then there are the times I hope they never end.