Over the past 13 months I have been smothered in what I call "the fog". It has been difficult to laugh, difficult to smile, and difficult to live life to its fullest. I am by nature a pretty happy person and for these past 13 months I haven't felt that way. It has been hard to be in the fog and not only hard for me, but I am sure hard for those around me.
Being in the fog is at times overwhelming and depressing and uncertain. I wasn't always sure when or if the fog would lift. It is even more challenging to navigate the fog without my friend, my advice giver, my mom. But, as I see the sun shining outside and I listen to my children laughing I begin to feel the fog lifting...ever so slightly. To be honest, there are moments I am not quite sure I want to move out of the fog. It has provided me with a veil to hide inside and sometimes I prefer being there.
But, in my heart I know that I need to laugh and smile again. I know that I need to live my life and be there fully for my children, my husband, and my family. These are the things that motivate me to move out of the fog.
I just want my mother to know that as I begin to see the sunlight break through the fog I look forward to walking toward the light with her in my heart.