Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Being a Mom

Mothering is a tough job. If you are a mom you already know this. It wasn't until I became a mom myself that I truly understood what it must have been like to be my mother. To spend her nights worrying about her daughters. To question the decisions she made on our behalf. To attempt to soften our hurts and defeats. I wonder how many evenings she spent thinking about us and hoping we were out in the world making good choices. I wonder if she shed tears and cried when we disappointed her. Did our hurtful words cause her to loose sleep? And when we did the right thing, did she feel an overwhelming sense of relief?

As I move through the world attempting to be a good mom, I just wish I knew if I was doing this whole gig the right way. It would be such a comfort to talk with my mother and ask her if I was making good decisions for my girls. Am I helping them see the world clearly? Am I properly equipping them with the knowledge they need to be a good friend and to avoid the people who aren't good friends? Are they venturing out in the world creating a happy life for themselves?

When they were very little I wanted my girls to ultimately end up well adjusted and happy. I still have the same goal for them, but as they have become preteens/teens I'm acutely aware that the road to happiness isn't quite as easy as I once thought it was. 
As I think of my mom, I know that she wanted this same outcome for my sisters and me. She wanted us to be happy. And, what better tribute to her and her success as a mom, then to live a happy life and to keep on trying to be a good mom to my own girls just as she was to us. 

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